Thursday, November 20, 2014
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Life
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I never cared much for Bill Cosby. Cosby was one of those public figures that I wanted to like, but I could never warm up to him. I didn't like his unabashed work as a pitchman. Even back then, I knew that the products he was pitching -- cigars and Jell-O pudding -- were not good for anyone. (I've always had an eating problem, and pudding was a favorite binge food.) In my view, celebrities who become pitchmen are sell-outs.
But that wasn't the only thing that made me uneasy about Cosby. He struck me as a male chauvinist; his behavior was always a little too masculine, self-assured and patriarchal, as if he thought too highly of himself. On "The Cosby Show", Dr. Huxtable's wife was too beautiful, like a trophy wife, and there was never the sense that she was a real equal in the relationship. Also, the Dr. Huxtable character was too much the center of attention, too much the know-it-all, and too much in control of his family.
But it was Cosby's work as a pitchman that irritated me the most. Most celebrities don't become pitchmen until later in life, when work becomes scarce and they need money to maintain their lifestyles. But Cosby waded right into pitch work at an early age, even when he didn't need to. During his career, Cosby represented at least ten different companies or organizations, and he pitched at least twelve different products.
For all these reasons, my impressions of Cosby weren't very favorable -- but I never imagined that he was capable of something truly awful, like rape. Not only did he seem too good to do such a thing, the circumstances of his life seemed to make it unnecessary. A celebrity like Cosby would have easy access to fans and groupies (especially when he was young and good-looking), so why would he need to rape anyone? If there is an answer, it probably has to do with Cosby's ego. Cosby, in my estimation, may be the kind of man who isn't satisfied to get what he can get, but who "wants it all". I can easily see him zeroing in on various women that he just "had to have" -- and if drugging and raping them was the only way he could have them, then he was willing to do that. For Cosby, sex may be a matter of conquest. Raping a woman by drugging her is probably fairly easy, and I can imagine that Cosby -- with his substantial intellect -- rationalized that no harm was being done since his victims were unconscious.
Despite all this, I still find it puzzling. In addition to fans and groupies, Cosby was (is) a man who could afford the finest prostitutes in the world. When you have access to fans and groupies and prosititutes, why resort to rape?
Since writing this article, I've learned that Cosby once drugged a young woman who had already agreed to have sex with him -- indeed, she was a prostitute and had had sex with him before. That makes the whole issue much more complicated. Some people have a fetish about having sex with dead bodies. Having sex with someone who is unconscious probably comes as close to that experience as you can get. Or perhaps Cosby just likes extremely passive sex partners. Or perhaps there is something in the sex act that makes Cosby feel ashamed, and having his partner unconscious relieves that feeling. Whatever the reason, it would seem that Cosby was acting out a fetish when he drugged all those women. He must have known it was wrong, but he didn't have the self-control to stop himself. That's the only possible explanation.
Recently I learned that not all of the women were raped in the legal sense (i.e., Cosby didn't penetrate them vaginally). Some of them were semi-conscious after he drugged them, and they remember everything. In some cases (perhaps most?), he grabbed the woman's hand, put it on his penis, and forced her to masturbated him. After that, he would become unpleasant and dismissive, or even abusive, saying nasty things to them and throwing them out of his house (although he would get cabs for them, presumably so they wouldn't go out on the street in a drugged state). Much of the horror of rape (I can imagine) must be in being penetrated in your most private place. For those women who were forced to masturbate him, the horror was in being used and abused. It must have been a shock to be treated that way by someone they liked, admired and trusted.
So with this new information, it's clear that he wasn't just taking advantage of the women (i.e., using a drug to get sex he wouldn't have gotten otherwise), or acting out a fetish; he was treating them with contempt -- and isn't that what rape is really all about? So in a sense, it turns out that his motivation for the rapes was the same as every other rapist's: contempt, control, humiliation.
I should have known. You can't rape a woman without having contempt for her (or for all women).
But that wasn't the only thing that made me uneasy about Cosby. He struck me as a male chauvinist; his behavior was always a little too masculine, self-assured and patriarchal, as if he thought too highly of himself. On "The Cosby Show", Dr. Huxtable's wife was too beautiful, like a trophy wife, and there was never the sense that she was a real equal in the relationship. Also, the Dr. Huxtable character was too much the center of attention, too much the know-it-all, and too much in control of his family.
But it was Cosby's work as a pitchman that irritated me the most. Most celebrities don't become pitchmen until later in life, when work becomes scarce and they need money to maintain their lifestyles. But Cosby waded right into pitch work at an early age, even when he didn't need to. During his career, Cosby represented at least ten different companies or organizations, and he pitched at least twelve different products.
For all these reasons, my impressions of Cosby weren't very favorable -- but I never imagined that he was capable of something truly awful, like rape. Not only did he seem too good to do such a thing, the circumstances of his life seemed to make it unnecessary. A celebrity like Cosby would have easy access to fans and groupies (especially when he was young and good-looking), so why would he need to rape anyone? If there is an answer, it probably has to do with Cosby's ego. Cosby, in my estimation, may be the kind of man who isn't satisfied to get what he can get, but who "wants it all". I can easily see him zeroing in on various women that he just "had to have" -- and if drugging and raping them was the only way he could have them, then he was willing to do that. For Cosby, sex may be a matter of conquest. Raping a woman by drugging her is probably fairly easy, and I can imagine that Cosby -- with his substantial intellect -- rationalized that no harm was being done since his victims were unconscious.
Despite all this, I still find it puzzling. In addition to fans and groupies, Cosby was (is) a man who could afford the finest prostitutes in the world. When you have access to fans and groupies and prosititutes, why resort to rape?
* * *
Since writing this article, I've learned that Cosby once drugged a young woman who had already agreed to have sex with him -- indeed, she was a prostitute and had had sex with him before. That makes the whole issue much more complicated. Some people have a fetish about having sex with dead bodies. Having sex with someone who is unconscious probably comes as close to that experience as you can get. Or perhaps Cosby just likes extremely passive sex partners. Or perhaps there is something in the sex act that makes Cosby feel ashamed, and having his partner unconscious relieves that feeling. Whatever the reason, it would seem that Cosby was acting out a fetish when he drugged all those women. He must have known it was wrong, but he didn't have the self-control to stop himself. That's the only possible explanation.
* * *
Recently I learned that not all of the women were raped in the legal sense (i.e., Cosby didn't penetrate them vaginally). Some of them were semi-conscious after he drugged them, and they remember everything. In some cases (perhaps most?), he grabbed the woman's hand, put it on his penis, and forced her to masturbated him. After that, he would become unpleasant and dismissive, or even abusive, saying nasty things to them and throwing them out of his house (although he would get cabs for them, presumably so they wouldn't go out on the street in a drugged state). Much of the horror of rape (I can imagine) must be in being penetrated in your most private place. For those women who were forced to masturbate him, the horror was in being used and abused. It must have been a shock to be treated that way by someone they liked, admired and trusted.
So with this new information, it's clear that he wasn't just taking advantage of the women (i.e., using a drug to get sex he wouldn't have gotten otherwise), or acting out a fetish; he was treating them with contempt -- and isn't that what rape is really all about? So in a sense, it turns out that his motivation for the rapes was the same as every other rapist's: contempt, control, humiliation.
I should have known. You can't rape a woman without having contempt for her (or for all women).
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